Spousal Support

It’s funny how we sometimes don’t realize how important simple actions are, but support in any relationship is huge. Yet often times it’s overlooked or dismissed. Whether it’s given or received can make the difference in someone’s ability to feel or be successful. How many times did your parents tell you “you can do it” when you were younger and struggling with something? I haven’t enough fingers to tally the countless times my parents supported me in my endeavors. When I told them I wanted to be like Whitney Houston when I grew up and be a singer they said “ok” and made sure I was in chorus to grow my talent. When I was over that and then decided I wanted to be a doctor my mother took me around to the hospital she where she worked at the time and introduced me to the nurses and doctors who allowed me to see what they did and what the work was like. In middle school when I decided I wanted to be a lawyer they made sure I was able to find a law office to work in so that I could develop those skills to see what the legal field was like. With all the support I received over the years, I am so thankful to be where I am today. It also makes you think about the support you have or have not received in your other relationships.

Take your husband for example. Was there something you were interested in pursuing, you shared this with him, and his reaction was not what you hoped for? Did he put you down or tell you “in your dreams” and you felt less than you did before? Did you wonder why he treated you this way? Has he perhaps fallen short of a dream deferred? When was the last time you showed your support of him?

Support is really a two way street and without it your tasks, projects, goals, etc can seem hard to attain. It’s necessary to remember how and why we should support each other in our endeavors. For one thing you never know what can happen if you don’t try. For another, you might change someone’s life by supporting them and not even know it.

So how do we support our spouse? When we look at support, it’s easiest to think about it in these terms: Financial, Emotional, Mental, Physical, and Spiritual.

Financial Support – Ensuring bills are paid on time or your contribution is sufficient. Making responsible financial decisions and considering your significant other when doing so.

Emotional/Mental Support – Typically, your mental state dictates how you feel. If ones mental state is positive and you have a healthy outlook on life then you tend to feel happy and able to accomplish collective goals as a result.

Physical Support – Supporting each other physically means making sure intimacy and sex is maintained in your relationship. Intimacy can also be in the form of a kiss, hug, holding hands, or even your body language towards one another.

Spiritual Support – Supporting and respecting each other’s spirituality or religion. Even if you do not share the same views, it is important to respect each other.

Just remember, whether married or not, providing support is key in building and sustaining a strong fulfilling relationship. Why you ask? Because better relationships, mean better livelihood and more stable families. It means strengthening your health, mind and connection with others. The more you put in the more you get in return.

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