Have you tried and failed to make mom friends?
Have you met a fellow mom at a play date and hit it off? You ladies talk the whole time your kids are playing and exchange numbers with plans to meet up soon — only later never comes.
We’ve all made friends over the course of our lives. And yet it’s harder to make mom friends than any other type of acquaintance in life. Why is that? Many say that Millennials are the worst generation of them all (jealous, much?) and we’ve lost the ability to truly relate and connect with people outside of the context of social media. I hate to admit it, being a Millennial myself, but they may be on to something. Our generation seems to find it harder than ever before to connect with other women when we seem to have so much in common (i.e., we’re all Mamas).
Are your expectations too high?
The one thing I hear most often when talking to other moms about the pressure to make mom friends is that they are expecting to make a life-long friend. They expect this person to be the same age as them, have tons in common, and be able to hang out at the drop of a dime to tag along to the zoo or park. While that sounds fantastic, people are far busier than ever before, so to expect someone to put THAT much energy into a new relationship is unrealistic. Unless you’re both stay-at-home moms – and even that’s no cake walk – you’re not likely to have a ton of time to socialize when you have to work, take care of the kids, do chores, and the millions of other things moms do in the course of the day. Bottom line — stop looking for a life-long bestie and just focus on whether you have the time to get together for play dates when your schedule is free. It will save you a lot of headaches and who knows…you may actually become friends who want to hang out if you take all the pressure off.
Millennial Moms Don’t Know How to Make Friends
In the age of social media, where everyone is documenting every waking moment, it’s not hard to understand why Millennial moms never really connect during these play dates. They never seem to be too far from their phones as they record Junior swinging or going down the slide. The sad part is that we’re too busy trying to show the world how perfect we are that we forget that it literally takes a village to make it all work. That village includes mom friends — so if you’re sitting right next to several women and yet find yourself on your phone — this may be the reason you haven’t really connected with anyone yet. Put down the phone and show some genuine interest, woman!
How to Break the Millennial Curse and Make Some Mom Friends
Make the First Move
This can be incredibly awkward, but sometimes you have to be the one to get the party started. If you hit it off with a fellow Mom and you ladies exchange numbers, be the one to reach out first. We’re all very busy, so if you make an effort to reach out, it may send the message that you may be someone worth hanging out with.
Try not to be late or be the one to reschedule all the time. This sends a message that you’re not serious about being buddies and that you don’t respect their time.
When you do invite your mom friend over, don’t try to impress. Be yourself and be real. The only way you’re going to make a real friend is by being authentic. No one wants to hang out with a Pinterest mom, they want to feel comfortable and not like they’re being judged or are inadequate because they don’t make decorations for every play date. Remember…the key is to make connections, not to be perfect.
Try these tips and you’re sure to make at least a few good mom friends along the way! Good luck.