Commitment and marriage are not always in the cards. I’ve always been fine with the idea that people come and go from your life, leaving behind experiences you learn from—good and bad. While my friends were getting married and having children in the ten years following high school, I was still dating my boyfriend without a care in the world! That’s not to say that we didn’t have relationship milestones and challenges, like moving in together or feeling like we were on a relationship treadmill—going nowhere fast. I also had some friends that were stuck in a relationship rut thinking I was crazy for letting my boyfriend get away with such a thing. Anyone who knew me understood that marriage was never on the top of my “to do” list.
I did eventually end up marrying my boyfriend of ten years, but I realize that this type of situation doesn’t always have a happy ending. If I had to go back and do it all again…I wouldn’t change a thing. In the ten years that have passed, I was able to focus on improving myself as a human being. I graduated from college, got a master’s degree, advanced within my career, and created two very successful businesses. When I married, I was an educated, independent woman who could provide for herself; I wasn’t defined by my relationship with anyone.
I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that some of you ladies will not consider still being single as a failure. As long as you can be open and honest with your partner about the direction of your relationship and where it will eventually end up, then take the time to work on being the best person YOU can be. I’m not saying that it will always work out or that you won’t be frustrated at times. I’m also not advocating for staying with a man who clearly doesn’t appreciate you or just wants to play house without making any sort of commitment. I’m only asking that you keep in mind that we all have a responsibility to ourselves to live up to our own expectations and chase our own dreams. That’s the only way you can manage to be perfect for anyone else and maybe even ready to marry.
Good luck ladies!