5 Ways to Not Be THAT Jerk on the Commuter Bus

We’ve all had to hop on public transportation a time or two in our lives and let’s face it nothing beats the comfort of driving in your own car. But for whatever reason (money, reducing the miles put on your car, or reducing the anxiety caused by DC metro area traffic), you find yourself commuting with the rest of Cubicle Nation. I’ve only been riding the commuter bus for a month and I’ve already developed a full list of commuter behavior that really ticks me off!

To avoid being THAT jerk on the commuter bus, avoid the following behavior:

1. Don’t sit your work bag in the empty seat

You would be surprised how many grown ass people do this! The bus route heading to my neck of the woods is always packed and yet people leave their bags in their seats as if no one will see there’s an open seat there. To make matters worse, these fools then look the other way (the ceiling, floor, or out the window) as a way to avoid eye contact in the hopes that no one will ask to sit next to them. NEWSFLASH IDIOT…the bus is packed! There’s no way you’re going to keep that seat empty, so stop acting like a damn fool and move the bag!

2. Don’t strangle everyone on the bus with your perfume/cologne

For anyone with severe allergy issues (like myself), this is perhaps the most frustrating thing a fellow commuter can do. Bathing in perfume and choking people with it is not only cruel, but it’s also inconsiderate! One of my first days on the bus was met with the strongest smelling perfume ever and I was lucky enough to have the woman wearing it sit right next to me. As I hacked and sneezed myself damn near to death, the woman asked if I had a cold and it took everything in me to not to say…no &^%$# it’s YOU!

To avoid dirty stares and unnecessary coughing/sneezing/runny noses, please drench yourself in your favorite fragrance once you get to work.

Image: Notably Neurotic
Image: Notably Neurotic

3. Avoid giving the “evil face” if someone asks to sit next to you

Let’s be real…everyone’s first choice would not include sitting next to you. They would probably prefer to drive to work and save themselves the evil scowl you’re giving them. But the situation is what it is. So, please fix your face! Making someone else uncomfortable because you have an attitude problem is childish and that’s not a good look for anyone.

Image: Big Footy

4. Don’t talk your seatmate to death!

We all have those days where we have to rehash what happened in the office…but not to the complete stranger sitting next to you. Chances are they’ve had a rough day as well and they don’t want to hear you complain about your problems because ultimately they don’t care! Please save that junk for your significant other or someone who cares about you!

Image: Collegelifestyles
Image: Collegelifestyles

5. Pick the appropriate seat if you’ve got a little extra junk in your trunk

I was on the fence with this one since it’s not entirely possible to always avoid squeezing into spaces you clearly can’t fit. We all know that some commuter buses can be a little cramped, but my suggestion is to sit next to the skinniest person you can find (i.e., someone not using all their seat cushion), so you can easily take up the space without too many dirty looks.

What you want to avoid is sitting next to a person who is using their whole seat cushion. As much as it is a necessity to get home, no one wants what is essentially half your ass sitting on their lap. This might sound harsh, but it’s true!

If you find yourself guilty of any one these offenses…you’re not alone and it’s not too late to turn it around! Feel free to share your commuter horror stories!

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