So, if there is one thing you should know about me it’s that I am the type of person who likes things in writing. And, as I have personal experience on the subject, I am all for having a bridesmaid contract. Now call me crazy, but I formatted a cute and fun little contract with some underlying notes of “I’m actually pretty darn serious about this” for my bridesmaids. While I don’t think they shared my sense of humor (mainly because they probably didn’t read past the 3rd bullet of requirements) I still think it’s a great idea as a memento in addition to letting your bridesmaids know your expectations. I made sure the contract had terms and conditions for the Bride as well so they didn’t feel the burden was solely on them, but I still received a few side eyes.
So my advice: if you decide to have a contract, make it a fun and memorable keepsake for your girls while not sounding too stern. Check out mine below and let me know your thoughts!
Let me just say again how happy I am that you agreed to be apart of my special day! Below are a few guidelines for the wedding that I’d like you to review. Please initial by each point, sign at the end and send back to me. I just want to make sure we are all on the same page.
Thanks a bunch! Love ya!
My promises to you:
____ I WILL NOT expect you to attend every shower or event that occurs, BUT if you are able to attend YOU WILL arrive in a timely manner and do everything in your power to support and “be there” for the bride and I will enjoy your presence.
____ I WILL have you wearing coordinated dresses and I apologize in advance, BUT I promise to get everyone’s input so everyone can feel comfortable and attractive –I will not stuff everyone into hot pink sausage casings. I will not make busty women wear spaghetti straps.
____ I WILL NOT delegate a million weird jobs to you, and I will be grateful for everything you do. I will recognize that every moment you spend on anything wedding-related is a gift in and of itself – one that deserves profuse thanks.
____ I WILL make every attempt to keep things inexpensive for everyone, and to treat your time and energy with all the respect it deserves.
Your promises to me:
___ YOU WILL NOT wear a wig! You will wear your own hair styled accordingly.
___ YOU WILL NOT gain more than 4lbs from the weight you were when asked to be a bridesmaid. (weight loss however is perfectly fine)
___ YOU WILL check me if I start obsessing over stupid things that no one else will notice, like whether the flowers will match the napkins and the bridesmaid’s undies.
___ YOU WILL “choke a b*tch*, if I fail to keep a level head and/or my sense of humor about all things wedding-related. (lol)
____ YOU WILL NOT knowingly/unknowingly get pregnant more than 3 months prior to the wedding or else that’s an @$$ Whoopin!!!
___ YOU WILL attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and have at least a vague idea of the wedding day timeline (which will be provided to you in advance).
___ YOU WILL NOT make a request to walk or not walk with any particular groomsmen. Who you walk with will be assigned and is not up to you.
____YOU WILL purchase the decided upon Bridesmaid Dress when the time comes without a fuss even if it wasn’t the one you liked most but your fellow BMs decided upon.
___ YOU WILL NOT make any major hair changes without first notifying me and providing me with a sample photo or hair swatch for consideration.
___ YOU WILL be available on the day of the wedding to help me set up the site, help me get dressed, pose for pictures, tell me if my make-up is fading, corral people for a ritualistic toss of some kind and other things I can’t foresee yet. Just generally be available to help with stuff, if needed.
___ YOU WILL (most importantly) let me know if you become uncomfortable with anything, at any time, regarding any aspect of this whole deal. If you feel I am asking for too much, if you feel neglected by not being asked to do enough, if expenses seem to be becoming prohibitive – anything at all. The absolute last thing I want is for you to feel put upon or resentful. All I truly want is your friendship and support.
I do hereby swear that I will adhere to the entire contract as listed above & other understood bridesmaid duties & “other duties as assigned” for the XYZ Wedding on XYZ Date Year.