So, if there is one thing you should know about me it’s that I am the type of person who likes things in writing. And, as I have personal experience on the subject, I am all for having a bridesmaid contract. Now call me crazy, but I formatted a cute and fun little contract with some underlying notes of “I’m actually pretty darn serious about this” for my bridesmaids. While I don’t think they shared my sense of humor (mainly because they probably didn’t read past the 3rd bullet of requirements) I still think it’s a great idea as a memento in addition to letting your bridesmaids know your expectations. I made sure the contract had terms and conditions for the Bride as well so they didn’t feel the burden was solely on them, but I still received a few side eyes. The look changed when I excitedly told them about my plan to have my wedding at Gunners Barracks in Australia. A few loved the idea of traveling to a distant land and thought it was romantic, but we ultimately decided somewhere closer to home would be better for family. I can tell they went back to worrying about the bridesmaids’ contract after that. Hopefully, no ones takes this too seriously, but that being said, I do want my wedding day to go smoothly. I’m going to be investing in an amazing photographer, perhaps from olgatopchii.com which has been recommended to me, and I don’t want the photos to be ruined by people who don’t have any guidelines to follow. I know so many brides who have spent hours looking over what wedding dress to get from someone where like Winnie Couture, spent forever finding the perfect location, and I’ll probably be the same so it would be a shame for someone to ruin it at the last hurdle.
So my advice: if you decide to have a contract, make it a fun and memorable keepsake for your girls while not sounding too stern. Check out mine below and let me know your thoughts!
Let me just say again how happy I am that you agreed to be apart of my special day! Below are a few guidelines for the wedding that I’d like you to review. Please initial by each point, sign at the end and send back to me. I just want to make sure we are all on the same page.
Thanks a bunch! Love ya!
My promises to you:
____ I WILL NOT expect you to attend every shower or event that occurs, BUT if you are able to attend YOU WILL arrive in a timely manner and do everything in your power to support and “be there” for the bride and I will enjoy your presence.
____ I WILL have you wearing coordinated dresses and I apologize in advance, BUT I promise to get everyone’s input so everyone can feel comfortable and attractive –I will not stuff everyone into hot pink sausage casings. I will not make busty women wear spaghetti straps.
____ I WILL NOT delegate a million weird jobs to you, and I will be grateful for everything you do. I will recognize that every moment you spend on anything wedding-related is a gift in and of itself – one that deserves profuse thanks.
____ I WILL make every attempt to keep things inexpensive for everyone, and to treat your time and energy with all the respect it deserves.
Your promises to me:
___ YOU WILL NOT wear a wig! You will wear your own hair styled accordingly.
___ YOU WILL NOT gain more than 4lbs from the weight you were when asked to be a bridesmaid. (weight loss however is perfectly fine)
___ YOU WILL check me if I start obsessing over stupid things that no one else will notice, like whether the flowers will match the napkins and the bridesmaid’s undies.
___ YOU WILL “choke a b*tch*, if I fail to keep a level head and/or my sense of humor about all things wedding-related. (lol)
____ YOU WILL NOT knowingly/unknowingly get pregnant more than 3 months prior to the wedding or else that’s an @$$ Whoopin!!!
___ YOU WILL attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and have at least a vague idea of the wedding day timeline (which will be provided to you in advance).
___ YOU WILL NOT make a request to walk or not walk with any particular groomsmen. Who you walk with will be assigned and is not up to you.
____YOU WILL purchase the decided upon Bridesmaid Dress when the time comes without a fuss even if it wasn’t the one you liked most but your fellow BMs decided upon.
___ YOU WILL NOT make any major hair changes without first notifying me and providing me with a sample photo or hair swatch for consideration.
___ YOU WILL be available on the day of the wedding to help me set up the site, help me get dressed, pose for pictures, tell me if my make-up is fading, corral people for a ritualistic toss of some kind and other things I can’t foresee yet. Just generally be available to help with stuff, if needed.
___ YOU WILL (most importantly) let me know if you become uncomfortable with anything, at any time, regarding any aspect of this whole deal. If you feel I am asking for too much, if you feel neglected by not being asked to do enough, if expenses seem to be becoming prohibitive – anything at all. The absolute last thing I want is for you to feel put upon or resentful. All I truly want is your friendship and support.
I do hereby swear that I will adhere to the entire contract as listed above & other understood bridesmaid duties & “other duties as assigned” for the XYZ Wedding on XYZ Date Year.