I’m not claiming to be a relationship expert, as I still have a lot to learn and have made some mistakes along the way. But, I have been in the same relationship for the last 10 years and what I’ve learned has helped me overcome a lot of preconceived notions about what love really is. It has also allowed me to redefine my definition of commitment.
Here are my secrets to making a relationship last:
Learn to Accept Your Boyfriend/Husband for Who They Are, Not What You Want Them to Be
This was particularly hard for me in the beginning. Not to say anything was wrong with my husband, but it’s easy to find fault with others when they don’t conform to your idea of what a partner should be. My first instinct is to try to fix whatever isn’t working, but I learned that I needed to focus on accepting him as the person he is and not try to change him to meet some sort of unrealistic expectation that didn’t work in reality.
Communication is KEY!
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s really true! Men and women communicate differently. I tend to be more direct in my delivery and sort of turn into an amateur interrogator when I’m pissed about something. What I found out was that my husband’s communication default was to say “I don’t know” or to agree with me just to shut me up! What ended up happening is that we had all these unresolved issues because we could never talk openly about them without one of us getting upset. We had to work really hard to understand how the other person communicated and to express ourselves without offending one another. It helped our relationship tremendously and probably saved us from splitsville.
Overall, most people are honest in their daily lives. But, when you get into the business of being honest with those you love the most, it can become even harder to be truthful about how you’re feeling, which can affect your relationship. I’ve found that honesty, whether difficult or easy, must always be present in your relationship. Otherwise, how can you move forward? I have definitely been honest with my husband in the last year or so (more than anyone would have recommended), but I think that honesty has made us stronger as a family. There’s nothing like owning up to your mistakes and facing the consequences head on!
I hope you ladies take some of these tips and use them in your own relationship if you haven’t already!