Abstinence before “I Do”

So, being that I am no Virgin Mary and have sinned like the next person, is it even worth it to “hold out” before the big day? If so, why? Why do people do it? Anticipation? Excitement? The challenge? Spiritual reasons?

At that time, my hubby-to-be and I thought it would be good idea to see if we could go “without” until our big day. It would build anticipation, excitement, etc., right? Or, was I just torturing myself trying to become born-again-virgin so I could feel better about wearing WHITE?? Lol.

We spoke with our wedding counselors about this. They had a nice spin on things and directed us to Corinthians 7:1-8. It talks about what a marriage should be. They also talked about how back in the day, during the “engagement” period a woman would prepare herself for marriage with oils and such, learning how to become a wife for her husband-to-be. I really like that thinking, that one prepares for being a wife over the course of time; acquiring the skills and knowledge they will need sounds kind of awesome.

Today, things obviously are done differently. I might not have jumped into a tub of olive oil (Extra Virgin to cleanse myself, lol), but I could take a cooking class, or an interior design class, or a pole dancing class *hehehe.* Or, I could go to bible study more often to strengthen my spiritual knowledge so I can be a spiritual backbone for my family when we decide to expand. I could learn how to take care of and manage a home, learn how to make better financial decisions, and learn the art of compromise.  There are probably a billion and two guidelines one could follow to prepare to be a good wife, mother, lover, etc. And, with so many resources out there, one need only to “Google it” or ask their girlfriends or family…

What would you do?

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1 Comment

  • Me wearing a white dress, HA! Although my husband is the only man I had ever been with, wearing white was definitely not even an option for me. Not only had I engaged in pre-marital sex, I wanted to go against the grain, virgin or not, so I ended up with an ivory dress (I couldn’t find a silver one at a good price).

    Me and my husband didn’t wait to “hold out” for the wedding night for a couple of reasons:
    1. My husband would have been a total crank-box had we held out for an extended period of time. haha
    2. Although we had discussed it, we just didn’t think it mattered in the long run.

    Having had sex close to days leading up to the ceremony was in a sense was like the “A-ha Moment”, like Oprah likes to say. It was the “A-HA” that the end of one time period had come and a new defining moment was about to emerge, marriage! Being married and making love felt, new,wonderful, exciting, & passionate, as I was now sleeping with my husband and he his wife. So, in the long run, it really didn’t matter to “hold out” because our experience was wonderful.

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